How Do I Communicate Intimately? How do I find love? Love and Intimacy 103.

April 8, 2018

Intimate and Crucial Conversations When it Comes to Love

In love and intimacy 102, I continued to make the case for communication as the pathway for finding love when reaching out to look for love. Granted, initial conversations are usually superficial and only touch the surface, but they are essential to the success of the next step.

As relationships evolve, conversations move from inconsequential to crucial. Often sensitive questions like: “How many children would you like to have?” “Do you believe in God?” “What do you think about religion?” or “Are you Republican, Democrat, social progressive, a bleeding-heart liberal or staunch conservative?” come into play as do questions about sex, money, work, education and recreation.

In segment 102, I emphasized that communication requires the process of synthesizing what we take in with our special senses – sight, sound, touch, smell and taste as well as intuition. Call it going beyond the conversation to discover what it means at the core.

Finding love, compels us to sharpen our special senses, paying attention to not just what was spoken, but how it was said, paying attention to visual cues, verbal intonations, facial expressions, and behaviors like cleanliness and thoughtfulness as the communication evolves from superficial to consequential. Actions indeed speak much louder than words.

No partner is perfect, so it’s not realistic to think anyone will check off all the boxes. In the end, only you can determine what differences in likes and dislikes as well as opinions are acceptable and those that are game changers. I can’t imagine for example, how a devout Christian could partner with a resolute atheist, and if I were you, I’d think long and hard about jumping into that one.

And I wouldn’t be so naïve to think that you can change him, no matter how much you think you love him and he loves you.

This is Dr. Jim for Be Healthy! Be Happy! Power your path to happiness and go find love!